Jonah was in the belly of a great fish for 3 days and 3 nights AND THEN HE PRAYED...
saying, "I called out to the Lord , out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice. For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me. Then I said, 'I am driven away from your sight; yet I shall again look upon your holy temple.'
I'm not sure what took Jonah so long. 3 days and 3 nights?? That's a long time to stubbornly sit there, in the smelly belly of a fish, thinking over the mistakes he'd made.
I recently went away for 3 days and 3 nights...okay, maybe it was 4. While this was nowhere near the belly of a fish experience, it allowed me time to reflect on some areas of my life that had been troubling me.
Swim with me for a bit...
If you've ever had a relationship or bond with someone that just never seems right, you might relate to this. While I'm a firm believer that God places people into our lives according to his perfect plan I also believe He takes them away. And then there are those that fade away over time. You grow apart and that's okay. I'm talking about those relationships that are clearly there for a reason but struggle to take shape.
The one that comes to my mind is one of many many years. It was not my choice but still a major part of my life. I think we've all experienced what it feels like when someone dislikes you... some will go out of their way to tell you this... and others just express their dislike with a cool demeanor, a smug look, or an indifferent response. This one does both and I have no idea why.
I realize I'm not for everyone. I get that and I'm okay with it, however I still strive for kindness. I try to be loving and considerate. I try to listen for those cues that might help me better understand someone to whom I don't relate well. Some people return those efforts with their own cordial pleasantries. And then there are those rare few... the ones so self-involved that they can't possibly find it within themselves to think of how their behavior affects others. This is for that person:
Dear _____,
I had hoped and prayed we were long past these days of pretending everything is okay between us. I really thought we had moved on and maybe even liked each other. I know that I love you, as difficult as that is sometimes, I know that it's true. For years I've tried to express that every opportunity I've had but somehow I still fall short. Like I said, I do love you...for there is no other possible reason why I'd allow you to continue to treat me like you do... like I'm "less than", inferior, "not your cup of tea", unwanted. I used to think the problem was that we are too much alike. Strong, independent personalities are prone to friction...but I know now that that's not true. I would never treat anyone the way you've treated me. Ever. I've tried to consider your past, your upbringing thinking maybe that justifies your attitude towards me. I still come up short.
I've decided, no more. I will no longer cry over feelings hurt by your rudeness. I'll no longer give you that kind of power over me. I do not need your approval, nor your permission, to just be me.
I've also decided to forgive you. Again. And again. It's not like you to apologize and it's not likely I'll ever hear you acknowledge the way you've treated me. I forgive you anyway.
And I'm set free...
I didn't need those 3 days and nights to reflect on this. I've thought over the mistakes I've made and made peace with God. My freedom came in forgiveness. As I learn to extend grace, God extends his mercy and I'm released from the "fish" that holds me captive.
For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me.
Lord, I will no longer fight the waves and billows that passed over me. You've used those to gently file away the rough edges, smooth out my imperfections, change my hurting heart. You heard my cry and you set me free. For that, I give thanks.
But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the Lord !"
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