I am aware that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am aware that you'll be inundated with PINK every direction you look. (More on that at the end of this post.)
I got a bit of a "pink notice" myself last week. A breast cancer survivor retreat I applied to back in February contacted me to tell me my family has been selected to go on a week-long vacation in Florida! Covid has changed the original plans but we are being gifted our lodging and a gift card to apply towards meals. Unfortunately my boys won't be able to join us due to them both starting new jobs. I'm happy and proud of them but bummed they can't spend this time with us. We have booked our tickets and are looking forward to a restful time at the beach.
Cancer is an oddfellow... bringing both good and bad...
And now for the bad.
Chemo failed again. I was afraid this would happen again and here we are. I got less than 6 weeks of what we thought was a successful treatment.
I was sent for an urgent ct scan last week that confirmed what I'd suspected. My tumor cell count is rising again. My doctor is worried. I'm worried. My family is worried. My doctor said that typically tumors in the same organ will respond the same way. Mine do not. I had some of my liver tumors shrink. Others almost doubled in size. She says I'm an anomoly and she's not sure what to do for me. Last Friday's chemo was canceled as a result and we've been working to get the ball rolling for a clinical trial in Portland. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. AT ALL. To be on an experimental drug means we don't really know the risks. We also don't know the success rate. It's not FDA approved and I have so many questions. It's all making me sick to my stomach to think about. I received the consent paperwork tonight and it didn't help things. 40+ pages of words that terrify me. Going this route has so many risks and unknowns. It also means frequent trips to Portland, 6 hours away, for treatment every 3 weeks. Insurance won't cover gas or food or lodging and this is all happening as I'm closing the my chapter of teaching art classes. I just can't do it anymore.
Please pray for me. I don't know what to do but we need to move quickly.
Some of you may wish to know how you can help. I really don't have an answer. Prayers are our number one request. For wisdom and for God's provision for our needs. Friends had planned 2 fundraisers for me for this year, one for medical expenses and all that goes with that, and another to help facilitate memory-making with my loved ones. Covid and more has put those on a back burner indefinitely. I've not heard anything more about those plans and honestly I'm afraid to even ask. Anyone with ideas or a willingness to help, please let me know. I just can't add more to my own plate right now.
Pink Ribbon Alternative:
If you'd like to donate the equivalent of your cup of coffee or a night out to our ongoing and upcoming breast cancer expenses, here are my personal links:
Every dollar is appreciated. Every prayer is as well.
Thank you and God bless!
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